Spirit Kissed and Shadow Bound
by Diona Christei
Summary: Rose finds out that she could be sentenced to death and her emotions start to get the best of her. along the way she finds out how much she truly cares for the people around her and how much they would actually give for her in return. ON HIATUS
1. Epiphany

**I know that you might have been expecting a sequel to Sanity but after reading spirit bound I decided that I had to write a fanfic for it…I will try my best not to mix the two even though this is clearly not a christianxrose story. It's just something to get started for now, if you like, it I'll continue but Ya have to review and say so.**

**Epiphany**

"What?" I asked dumbstruck. Had he just said what I thought he did, that if found guilty I would be executed?

"Rose that is something that I do not want to repeat and since I know you heard me…" Abe's voice trailed off as if he were only just thinking about what that meant.

"Uhhuh and so how in the hell am I going to prove that I didn't do this from a jail cell?"

"We will talk about it later but you will be fine…I promise"

"You promised that this wouldn't go to trial old man, and here I am"

"Trust me"

Those words would have normally brought comfort to anyone but for some reason the comfort wouldn't come.

"It's funny you should mention that old man because lately there hasn't been one man that I could count on" I said flicking my eyes towards Dimitri who yeah fought for me but didn't love me or so he claimed.

"That is the least of your troubles right now." Abe said sternly following my gaze.

"Alright Hathaway say goodbye to your lawyer." one of the guardians said handcuffing me. I knew that this was coming but for some reason the fear didn't hit me as hard until I felt the cool metal around my wrist. It seemed like the whole room had gotten quiet during the event because I could hear the clicking of the cuffs as the squeezed tight to my skin ensuring that there was no escape. I could feel lissa's tears without even looking at her. I didn't want to that in it's self would have made me panic more that I felt I needed to. There was certainly panic in me though and as the guardian began to turn me around to leave the courtroom the opposite way. Away from my family and towards the doorway that the criminals leave through it hit me full blast.

"No" I gasped and found myself resisting against the guardian.

"Move your feet Hathaway."

"I…no I didn't do it, I swear I wasn't her favorite but I wouldn't kill her."

"I said move" he said elbowing me in my back.

"I…didn't…do it" I said elbowing him back, just as I did three more guardians came to his aid almost beating me in the court room.

"Three against one very handicapped girl, which hardly seems fair." I said trying to cover my fear.

"Rose just go your not going do yourself any good fighting them." Dimitri spoke up. Wow the first time he talks to me without my prompting and it's to tell me to give in to a crime I didn't commit.

"Great, I love the support you guys" I spoke up to anyone who'd listen.

"What do you want us to do rose, you know you'd beat yourself up if we got in trouble for helping you. There's still a chance that you could get off." said Eddie.

"I…what? I'm going to die and you think there is a chance I could get off, they want me gone Eddie, they know I didn't do it but they won't listen to reason they want me gone." I was now in hysterics. However, that was all that I had time to say before I was literally speared to the ground. Pain coursed through my vain much like the fear had. I couldn't breathe due to having the air knocked out of my lungs. But I didn't need much air to surrender I guess.

"Are you going to go or do we have to actually knock you out?" a tall guarding said rising to his feet. He looked very thick in a muscular way and I was suddenly not surprised I had still had little wind to talk with.

"Fine" I said as they helped me to my feet. We were still for a moment probably so the guardians could get themselves together. I took advantage of the pause and caught my breath to speak. "Abraham Mazur you better find some way to get me out of here, and if you don't believe me I will."

"Rose that's not smart."

"I'm counting on you old man. Please don't let me down." I said, as I was drug away from the courtroom. I couldn't believe it. Part of me felt as if I were watching it from a different point of view anyone but mine. Had it been any one of my friends in this position I would have done everything in my power to keep them safe. I would have objected to everything, but instead they stayed quiet. I risk my life for them all the time and when I need them the most, the sit but quietly watching me get drug away. Not even Adrian who swears that he I am his drug did nothing. Talk about epiphany.


	2. Promises to Keep

**I haven't gotten any reviews for this so far but…I have gotten story alerts so at least I know its being read…so thanks to the followers…Enjoy.**

I had been locked in my musty dark cell for two weeks without even so much as a visit from any of my so-called friends. To a certain extent, I was glad that they were not involving themselves with me. Lissa and Eddie's reputations would be reduced to nothing if it were to come out that I broke the most wanted criminal…well now I am assuming he's the second most wanted, but even still, I did it with their help. Of course that was all a sad attempt to get MY Dimitri back their last good run was wasted as far as I was concerned. I hadn't gotten my Dimitri back; I had gotten some terrible personality in his body.

On the other hand, I was royally pissed that not one of my friends had come to see me. I was stuck in a cell that was exactly five feet wide on both sides. I had a little, and I do mean little cot with a mattress full of holes that barely covered the thick iron bars. When I had first gotten to this cell, I noticed that it smelled of various body fluids. After some time and a training of my brain I was able to coax myself to at least sit on it, sleeping on it took a little more time, mainly after I had deprived myself of sleep for the entire first week. Don't think for a second though that I didn't demand another mattress saying that this was unhygienic but I soon realized-with the help of my surroundings-that I was and Accused murder/traitor I didn't have the right to demand a new mattress. Other luxuries like socks and clean clothes were not mandatory and it was clear that they had only wanted to give me the bare minimum. This did nothing to give me hope. I had seen them treat Victor better than this and he was actually guilty with more that three eyewitnesses. They might as well have convicted me themselves.

"Hathaway you have a visitor" I heard one of the guards yell down the stairs. "Twenty minutes" I heard him say to whoever my visitor was.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear…or something like that but the point was someone had decided I was worthy of their presence.

"Roza…" I heard the voice and instantly regretted complaining, not only did I not want to see him I didn't want him to see me. Not because I was spending, what mite actually be my last days alive in a cell but because I looked like I had actually given up on life. To a certain extent I had, this might not have been a big deal for someone else but I felt that I had something to prove and giving up after only two weeks was showing weakness. That wasn't the way he was suppose to see me.

"Why…why are you here?" I stuttered trying and failing to avoid his gaze. It was a little harder considering that I was in an island. Bars served as all for of my walls there were no bricks anywhere near me. I had been but here as a safety precaution so they could make sure I didn't hurt myself but I thought that it was just for the sake of being in an open museum. I could actually picture the headlines. "Step Right up and see the amazingly dangerous traitor. Pay an extra 10 dollars and you can see how she goes to the bathroom."

"Rose?" the sultry Russian voice questioned again, the way he drug it out made me think that he was pleading with me to acknowledge him in some other way than I had already.

"What…are you doing here?" backing towards the furthest corner of my cell keeping my eyes locked on his as he walked around the bars to where I thought I had found refuge.

"Our positions seemed to have changed." he said. Had this been a lesser accusation I would have made a smart-ass comment and laughed at his expression. However, he was right things were opposite in a way. I was now in the cell wanting my distance from my Russian angel, my fallen angel. He had been defeated and to my understanding, gods don't fall. He was still above me though especially at this moment and yet I could see the look in his eyes telling me he thought otherwise.

"They have, but see I'm not avoiding you because I don't love you, I'm avoiding you because you don't love me." I said finding the courage to speak while moving away from him.

"That's not why I'm here." he was now holding on to the bars trying to will me to understand where he was coming from.

"Of course not, nothing good comes to a traitor."

"You didn't do it." he was snapping now.

"I know that Dimitri but do you think that they care, did you not hear what I said when they were dragging me from the courtroom? I know that they did and they made no attempts to deny it."

"Roza please listen to me, I know that you didn't do it because I followed you, when you left the chapel" had he really just said that. "I followed you to your room and then I followed you when you were walking around. I wanted to…"

"To what?" I asked forgetting that he had just told me he had been following me for a full four hours or more.

"That doesn't matter now."

"Dimitri, if you have something to say to me then say it now, because you know as well as I do that tomorrow is non existent only the past and present are real. Everyone believes that I killed the queen because of my spineless threats but that was me trying to make room for other problems in my mind. At the time you were the biggest one." I was defeated but I had to tell him the truth. "Since you're clearly the one with the free will, will you listen to my side of what happened in Siberia?"

"That's not important Rose."

"It is though, you keep punishing yourself for something and you have no real idea how it effected me only how you think I should have reacted."

"What do you mean…?"

"Ten minutes Belikov, it's almost meal time." the guard yelled down the stairs.

"it's to long of a story to tell you right now…but I will tell you, if you want but there had to have been a reason you came to see me."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine."

"Physically or emotionally?" I think the question took us both by surprise I hadn't been expecting him to ask me such a soul-revealing question and he now looked as if he wished he hadn't. However, something behind that was curiosity he really wanted to know now that he had asked.

"Physically, emotionally and mentally, I think that I might be…completely…gone" halfway through the sentence I had an idea, it was a long shot but it was all I had at the moment…I had to attack this from every angle possible.

"What's wrong?" he asked letting his curiosity completely take over his reluctance to be too personal with me.

I hadn't known weather he meant why I wasn't all there or why I sounded like I had an awakening-no pun intended-in the middle of the sentence. I answered to the later. "You have to get my mother and father down here…I know that no one wants to see me but…"

"what are you talking about rose, your were the one that said you didn't want to see us, you actually had them hand deliver us letters telling us that you didn't want to be seen. There were some pretty harsh things in the letters but they had been trying to see you since you left the courtroom two weeks ago." he said looking confused.

"But…they won't even let me had toilet paper Dimitri let alone a pen, how was I supposed to write a letter to all of you guys." I was furious but my mind made a mental not that I had just told Dimitri that I didn't wipe on a regular basis. He's been here rose, he knows that already. I had to tell myself.

"Well who else would write-"

"Well I'm guessing that whoever did this is connected to Tatiana's murder and wants to keep me isolated. Almost helpless, at least they know who the hell their messing with, of course breaking into a prison was easier than breaking out but I won't have to…" I had begun to talk to myself trying to add up any more clues that I had.

"Rose?"

"Get Janine and Abe down here, did you tell the others that you were coming?"

"No rose like I said you said some very hurtful things in those letters we want to help you but we aren't exactly talking at the moment. None of us Christian and lissa aren't together anymore and Eddie has distanced himself from everyone."

"oh, well don't tell them, let them stay the way they are, there's a reason whoever did this wanted everyone isolated but we have to ride with it until that reason is clear, thank you so much for coming to see me Dimitri."

"What are you up to rose?" he asked wary.

"Just trust me when I say I have a plan, which isn't much but you have to think one plan can branch into 6 so just tell me you trust me."

"I…"

"That's all I need to hear from you right now, I don't care if you love me or not right now I can handle tat later, I want you to tell me you trust me."

"I…trust you rose" he said reluctantly.

"You don't mean it yet but you will, I have kept everyone of my promises to you except one but I corrected my mistake and so I'm going to make one more promise…this case will not end me, and I have proven I am not above breaking both moroi and human laws to get what I need. I promise you that Dimitri, I will never stop fighting they can do what they want to me but they will be reminded of whose life their screwing up. Don't worry, you can help but don't worry there's no time."

"You can't keep that promise Rose."

"I have to; promises to you seem to be the only thing that I _**can**_ keep." I said finally admitting why it hurt so much to be around him, not because he didn't love me but because I know that even if he despised me I would choose him over every other person in my life and that scared me. "Please get my parents to see me…I'll explain everything soon."

"I'll do my best Rose, be well." with that he turned to walk back up the stairs my eyes following his rust colored duster as it flowed behind him…The fallen avenger…I like that more than I like Russian god. Although as a god, he was closer to me than he is now. Ironic.

**Okay I decided that I have to say what was actually on my mind after reading Spirit Bound. While I loved the book…who wouldn't…it seemed like it was missing something, because I had spent a good portion of the year reading fan fictions with elaborate plans on how to bring Dimitri back but when it got down to the real thing it was bland, the scene was awesome but was that really all it took? I had even read a ff with the same concept but even that was elaborate. _So my question is how did you truly view that part of the story?_ I loved the book though it just threw me for a loop, this one wasn't as good as the rest after all the hype that was put on it. Or maybe I'm outgrowing my fangs…that'll be a sad day, Nevertheless, being a die-hard VA fan I loved it anyway.**


	3. Tangible Death and Painful Dreams

**Wow I think that this might actually be my longest chapter ever…a lot of things won't make sense at first but if you like puzzles then you'll like this chapter or you could totally hate me…either way enjoy it first lol.**

I wasn't sure why he had done it but I did know that he had followed my instructions. My parents had come to see me, which meant that somewhere inside he had to at the very least care for me. Because I was a little more prepared for their visit, I was able to make sure I didn't look as hopeless as I had when I first saw Dimitri. Although I was nowhere near hopeless anymore.

"Mom, dad," I said with a genuine smile on my face. This immediately caught them off guard.

"Are you…are you okay?" Janine asked me concern written all over her face.

"Yes I'm fine never better." I said still smiling. After that sentence, I mouthed something to them without even a breath to carry the soundless words.

"What?"

"I have a plan, but I can't talk I have to mouth it" I whispered so low that I almost didn't hear myself.

"Okay…"

"Do they still let you off if you plea insanity?" I mouthed. The look on both my parents' faces was enough to make me sorry I asked but I had to be prepared.

"You didn't do this rose."

"I know that old man" I could feel a ghost of a smile trace my lips. In that moment I had actually gotten to look at them both, the lighting wasn't so good but I didn't need a lot of light to see that this has taken a toll on her. She looked both tired and weak although I knew that was far from the case. Janine Hathaway was anything but weak. A Abe looked helpless; I know that if it were up to him then I wouldn't even have been suspected of murder anyway. However, here they were to of the most respected and powerful people in their line of work and their both rendered powerless.

"Then why would you ask such a stupid question?"

"Look I learned to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. If by some chance I am convicted then I will need another way to get out of here."

"And you think insanity will help?"

"Well it's not a sure fire winner but it could by me some time."

"Yeah in the mental ward."

"Yeah well I'd take that over a death sentence any day old man." I said using the same sarcastic tone he had used with me.

"Abe she has a point, if she can't get off then at least she'd be alive…but how are we going to that without making them think you made it up?" mom asked both intrigued and confused.

"trust me mom I have been through enough to actually be mentally unstable, I don't think it would be that hard to convince a jury of that, hell most of them already thought that I was when I first came back to the academy." I said. Always a step ahead.

"So what? Are we going to just waltz in the courtroom and say she didn't do it but she's mentally unstable?" asked Abe. I could tell he was starting to get upset with the fact that I was thinking about what ifs.

"No, I am very good at being crazy it's an art form to me now, this would have to build up, it would have to start small and work its way up. I'll need everyone's help though. Oh and that reminds me, did you get a letter from me?" I asked, I had been so jumpy about all the things around me that it was hard to focus on one miniscule topic at a time when they are all ultimately linked to the common goal that would happen to be my freedom.

"Yes…Rose that was."

"Not me, it didn't write those letters like I told Dimitri they won't let me have pens or paper. Do you think that you could bring me a copy of it next time you come?"

"Yeah, I think I mean I don't see why not. But if you didn't write them then who did?" mom asked. I'm sorry but I honestly wanted slap her at that moment, if I knew the answer to that question I would have been able to figure out who killed the queen.

"I'm not sure but I have a feeling that who did that and who killed the queen are connected"

"I see, it would make sense they don't want you socializing with the others and they want them distracted it makes-"

"Wait what?"

"Huh?"

"You said distracted"

"Yeah, isn't it obvious whoever did this doesn't want them to try and find out who the real killer is."

Abe said as a spark of hope flashed in his eyes.

"No, that's ridiculous, all they would have had to do was make them hate me not each other."

"So you think there is something else going on?"

"I know it is but I'm not exactly sure what it is, what I do know is that we can't trust anyone."

"Understandable."

"So how am I going to get the others to talk to me without causing whoever is behind this to change their plans?"

"Hmmm…your guess is as good as mine." mom said

"Well, you're my parents whoever it is can't exactly expect you not to visit but as for the rest…Abe do you have a pen and paper?" I asked preparing to write down my brilliant idea. "Burn after reading" I joked, I had watched that movie a while ago ironic that I would actually find a plausible reason for saying that.

I scribbled for about fifteen minutes before handing the legal pad back to an anxious looking Abe. He read it carefully with a determined look in his eyes the determination suddenly turned to excitement. On this piece of paper held my entire plan. "You need to find a way to code that and give it to Adrian who can share it with the others in their dreams…do not let the original out of your side. You can shred it if you want to but do not forget the order, etch it to your memory."

"you are truly a genius rose, whoever is doing this to you must have a huge grudge against you…do me a favor and make a list of every one you know and then a list of everyone you've ever pissed off."

"That second list would be more than 20 pages long abe I would be better off making a list of the people I know for sure I didn't piss off." I said with full sarcasm in tact.

"Yeah you should do that too just in case" when I shot him an incredulous look he smiled at me and said "you know you have nothing else to do."

"Real funny old man."

"I thought so to. I guess I better hurry and inform them of you plan we'll see you tomorrow."

"No don't come every day, there is no use in you coming unless I come up with something new, you could use that time to actually find out who is behind this."

"Okay, Rose hang in there." mom said after being relatively quiet throughout the meeting.

"Of course." I responded as I watched them walk up the flight of stairs. "I'm not going to sit here and sulk anymore; WHEN I get out of here everyone involved is going pay." I made sure to keep that threat inaudible to not look as guilty as they were trying to make me. Nevertheless, I knew that I was going to get out of this.

.

**Two weeks later.**

I had finally fallen into a restless slumber I was drug immediately from my dream the outsides of a house. It was huge, and it had the old money feel not like something Adrian would live in. everyone knew that he had money so there was no need for him to want to be discreet about it. It had huge white columns and bright healthy hedges. It was made of brick but there was ivy running along side the house giving it a unique look. I the uniqueness made me feel like I had seen this house before.

I could tell that this wasn't my dream but normally we are in nothing so somber. Of course, the house was beautiful but I remember even in the face of danger Adrian would find a way to make like of the situation but talking business in a beautiful yet equally distracting garden with me usually wearing some skimpy outfit from his imagination. But no I was still in the dull gray uniform they had put me in when I had been locked up.

"Come in the house rose" I heard and all too familiar voice says. I wanted to but I realized how much I missed the world outside my bars. "Well if you would come in here so we could talk you might actually get to be outside again." the voice repeated.

I walked up the steps leading to the huge doorway, twisted the knob, and pushing it at the same time. Making sure that I drunk in every detail of my surrounding so I would remember even though I probably wouldn't get to see it outside of this dream.

"Your depressing me rose really; you could have just thought yourself to us."

"You have to understand that the only thing I've seen was rows and rows of cells most of them empty, I want to look at everything." I said with a child like wonder I didn't think was still possible.

"Let's get this over with first, them you can look around as long as you can sleep okay?"

"Fine," I said reluctantly closing my eyes and imagining myself to Adrian, he was the puppet master here.

"Thank you for that acknowledgement."

"Are you the only one that can read my thoughts or are they on display too?"

"Not sure, I've never had this many people in one dream before but I'm guessing since this is your head that maybe they can."

"Great just gr- wait you said my head?"

"yeah, when I kept trying to find a place to meet you literally kept picking me up and putting me here so here we are." he said. I opened my eyes to see Lissa, Christian Eddie mia Dimitri Tasha and my parents sitting around a large table almost like the one that Adrian has at his house.

"Yeah, why didn't you just tell me you like the table? And I didn't know you had such great taste in art." he said walking up behind me trying to loop his arms around my waist. Yes, he was still Adrian this place was my doing. I stepped forward out of his grasp.

"I…not now okay"

"Last I recalled rose your still MY girlfriend." he said which I'm sure was for Dmitri's benefit.

"I…look I don't know what I am anymore Adrian, I don't belong to anyone, I just don't want to be held right now the bars do that already."

"Are you comparing me to a prison cell rose?"

"Yes…and no. not you but being held, I don't want to be held anymore okay."

"We have to hurry and get you out of there. Your getting as cold as Dimitri over there"

"No…you won't do that, I told you before I left that-"

"You know what rose; I am tired of being at your beck and call and for what? So you can use me to get Belikov back, when you CONNED me out of all that money to got to Siberia you promised that you would give me a fair shot."

"I…"

"You what rose, how can you possible explain that to me, every moment we were together was just to shut me up for a while wasn't it?"

"No Adrian I…"

"Who do you love more?"

"Don't ask that."

"You promised rose…you said you would try."

"I did."

"Not like you tried with him, if you wanted it we would have been happy." he said flicking his eyes towards Dimitri, everyone else was stunned to silence; they've never actually heard or seen us fight before.

"But I don't want it Adrian…you want me to be honest fine I'll be honest. I lied when I told you I'd give you fair chance, I needed the money. I lied when I said that I loved you because I needed your help and I used you when I let you bite me I needed to be numb…so I was trying as hard as I possibly could. I like you but I don't love you and you knew that" I screamed at him.

"Yeah I guess I did but I didn't want to believe it." he said through pleading eyes. "I wanted you to get over him rose…but you don't even…How could you be so heartless?"

"I'm not Adrian, I'm just trying to protect what little bit I have left."

"You ruined her Dimitri, would have been happy how could she be happy with me when she wants you? And you won't even give her the time of day anymore."

"I don't need him anymore either Adrian…you don't get it, I'm being punished for loving the people around me to much…either there are being hurt or I am…I can't loose any of you. And I sympathize with you Adrian because I know what it's like to have your love crushed because someone else can't feel it, but now I also know what it's like not to love…you can only break a heart so many time before it crumbles."

"You don't love us," Lissa asked. "Not even me?"

"I can't loose you liss but I left you remember, you made me choose too and I chose Dimitri, I have hurt everyone here while I was chasing a fairytale not realizing all fairytales don't end with a happily ever. This one won't"

I watched as the tears welled up in her eyes at my words. Silently she stood up and walked over to where I stood staring me in my eye as if trying to read to my soul. Without warning, she used all of her moroi speed to catch me off guard with a tight-fisted punch.

"I hate you Rosemarie Hathaway, I wish I would have save Andre instead of you"

"You should have, I am sorry Lissa but I can't do this anymore," I said giving her back her chotki for the last time.

"Is that why you called us here? To crush us?" asked Christian.

"I couldn't leave this world knowing that you believed a lie."

"Leave?" asked abe making his presence known.

"Look, there is no way of finding out who killed her…and I'm as good as convicted."

"You're not going to d-"

"Yes I am old man…I need to"

"You won't come back this time."

Yes but not like you know me now. "I know"

"I can't believe your going to just give up." said Eddie. "Mason loved you too ya know he died thinking you loved him because you didn't want to hurt him, you let him die in vain."

"I…I didn't want him to I told him to leave I needed him to leave he didn't Eddie I told him…he…" I fell to the floor all of this was just too much. None of my friends would have ever said something like that to me.

"You're waking up." Adrian said coldly.

Not only was I snapped back into my own dreams I was shaken from them. Convulsing on a gurney realizing then that I was on my way to the clinic. "What did she eat?" asked one of the guards "I've never see anyone do this."

"I don't think she ate today. Man she's turning blue hurry…"

"We won't make it in time you do the compressions while I give her mouth to mouth"

It was ironic that I was just talking about death my death to be exact but I never actually thought that would be my last dream. Suddenly I saw a white light flash…corny I know but it's true you actually see alight when crossing over.

"Back so soon Hathaway?" I heard a voice say. "I've actually missed you. A lot."

"Right back at ya" I said with a grin on my face.

**FYI you probably want to kill me but this is like the third chapter…I like elaborate plans so you'll just have to be patient and see what happens…please don't give up on the story I have something in mind and this was necessary. But if you must you can tell me that you hate it all you want…I'll try to get the other chapter up so that you can understand a little, but unless you know where I'm going with this you won't get it until further in the story.**


	4. purgatory stalker

**This is actually a little slower than the previous chapters and it might still be confusing but I bet you can't guess who set her up. Of course, I won't tell you if your right until I right it in the story but all the pieces will come together soon. Enjoy**

"You're always the one to have people in an uproar aren't you?" mason asked me as I walked over to him. We were back at the house from my dreams. "Why do I keep coming back here?"

"I don't know…does this place mean something to you?"

"Well it is now the official spot where I dumped everyone who ever cared about me." I said half smiling.

"Should I be worried then?"

"Uh…no not really, although I can't promise that I won't piss you off to."

"I see…but can I ask why you're here, I don't understand how the Great Rosemarie Hathaway was taken down."

"It's a long story with lots of secrets."

"dead men tell no tales Rose, well unless you bring us back to life then well, I can't tell what I'll say being able to talk to my friends again." he laughed.

"I really missed you mase. But have you not been watching me?"

"What no" he said a little to fast. I laughed outright at his denial.

"Of course you have mason, I don't care the past month I have been on display for the world you have more right than they do." I said halfheartedly. "But if that's the case you know what was going on between Dimitri and me?"

His eased expression went hard and then saddened. "I saw a lot rose, I didn't know…and you know that you could have told me yeah sure I would have been angry but I would have gotten over it. At the very least you could have told me you liked someone else and let me make my own assumptions."

"I know that now mase but I was so caught up it never occurred to me that you would do what you did so I didn't bother trying to explain myself." it was then that I noticed that I couldn't cry. I felt sad enough to cry but tears wouldn't come. "Why am I not crying mase?"

"your dying rose, meaning your in between right now nothing really works right don't ask me why I don't make the rules I just play by them." he said smiling he was accepting the subject change gratefully although I had a strange feeling that we would be revisiting this conversation later.

"Way to put it bluntly Mason, but since you've been watching me you know why I'm here. And that I can't stay."

"Yeah I know." he sighed. It had just occurred to me then that up until now his voice had been monotone.

"Your voice changed."

"No your, well your not in-between anymore, welcome to the afterlife." he said in a bad imitation of Hades in the Hercules cartoon.

"Yeah awesome, so…"

"I'll help you if you help me."

"How?"

"I want to be alive again rose, I would have swallowed my pride and taken a loss had I known running into a battle I wasn't ready for would cost me my life."

"Mason I don't know if I can do that. I'm not even sure I know exactly how to get me back. I mean I could try and try hard but you've been dead longer than I have. I don't want to get your hopes up again."

"Well then all I ask is that you try if you can't you can't the good thing about this place is it becomes harder to be sad for to long."

"Alright mase if your sure."

"Positive"

"Then always be close to me okay."

"Yeah like that was ever a problem how do you think I got here." he laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with him, he was right because up until now I hadn't thought anything about seeing mason at my own personal purgatory.

"Gosh you're a stalker."

"Please the things I could do will put any stalker to shame."

"Ooh scary"

"Very"

* * *

"Ugg…does the sun ever go down?" I asked rolling over in a bed that was to comfortable to get out of.

"If you want it to Rose you forgot this is your place it's like a dream only a little more permanent."

"Hmm…" I said concentrating on the sky being black and full of stars. I was awe struck when I could see the sun setting at an alarming rate switching places with the moon. The stars appeared like kisses in the sky. "Wow, I think I'd miss this part the most. I can have anything I want."

"But after a while you have everything but the one thing you will never actually be able to conjure up." he was clearly in a depressed mood and it was bringing me down. "But don't worry all you have to do is stalk them until the get arrested and kill themselves."

"Yeah that's just what I need to have three souls to save on top of trying to solve a murder and mastering Necromancy"

"Well, we have looked everywhere for clues rose, maybe you should concentrate on getting back that way if anything goes wrong you can go back and help. Because like you said they wanted you out of the way for a reason."

I sat up suddenly alarmed, a queen is a high target but who would want her dead? The cards said I had an enemy but that was obvious, I'd go on a journey…clearly, I'm dead, love is gone, the page who could be my guide on the journey or the reason I'm on the journey…and being trapped. Her reading was accurate again but nothing made sense. Who was my enemy and what did I do to them.

"Earth to Rose?"

"Oh sorry I was just thinking about something, hey can you only spy on people you know or can you spy on pretty much anybody?"

"Why"

"Can we haunt?"

"Yes but I still haven't gotten the hand of physically manifesting in anything."

"Hmm…"

"Rose, I can see the gears churning behind your eyes but even dead I'm afraid of what you're thinking."

"Yeah well I would be to…" I knew then that I was just talking to semi acknowledge that he was still there; my mind had long since left the building.

I found myself concentrating on lissa not just being in her head but also being with her. Using all of my focus, I could feel myself being pulled to her. That and a huge amount of weight pushing me made it easier to finally reach the human world. There were so many other ghosts around that it was instinct to make sure oksana's ring had remained on my finger.

"You don't need that here rose you are one of us but please don't make your intentions clear or they will try to keep you here." he said seriously. "You do belong her, as much as I didn't want to believe it but you do."

"Right add that to my list of things I have to juggle while trying to prove my innocence."

"Does it really matter I mean your dead isn't that what they wanted?"

"Yes, but they will soon realize that they accused the wrong person."

"so why are you going to find the killer, lissa is still here, and whoever did this had to have a bigger plan since it was so important to get rid of me."

"You all keep saying that but what proof do you have?"

"Exactly my point mason, I don't have proof I'm trying to find proof." I said slowly I remember my reasoning for being here. "Lissa"

"She's over there rose, but I don't think you want to look, there's nothing more scarring then seeing your body lifeless."

"A chance I'll take." I said as I… "Am I floating?"

"Sort of." he said with a grin.

"Of course I am." I laughed. I abruptly stopped when I saw lissa jerk her head towards mason and I. her cheeks were tear stained but she was wearing a Jackie O looking black dress with lace gloves she looked beautiful with her hair hanging down her back.

"Wow" said mason. "Why isn't she wearing some royally appropriate outfit?" he asked.

"Because when her parents died they made us wear something like that and she complained the whole time about how it hurt and was uncomfortable, so I told her to wear her hair down and dress rich but comfortable when I died. She laughed then but I made her promise me that she wouldn't be both uncomfortable and sad at my funeral" I whispered, I could feel her eyes on the spot where I was standing but she couldn't see me could she?

Taking a good look at my surrounding I could tell that while we weren't in the chapel at court we were in a chapel it was small but it was fully equipped with the stained glass windows and pews that reminded me of…they had my funeral at saint Vladimir's. Again, if I could cry I would. Lissa was very good with symbolism. This was where all the trouble started it might as well end here.

I took a few steps towards her as I drunk in the mood. They were sad, they were angry but no one was happy I guess that's all I could hope for. "Oh lissa" I sighed placing my hand on her shoulder.

"Oh my god…Rose" she said jumping from her seat and looking directly at me.

"You…you can see me." I asked.

"Lissa what is it?" Dimitri asked. His face was covered in tears as well.

"Rose…she…she's here" lissa said about to cry.

"Lissa I know but everything will be okay. She's at peace now." said the pastor.

"No she's here standing right in front of me. Adrian can't you…oh never mind your to drunk to even know your name, she's here, I see her"

"Lissa don't worry about it, I'm not real…breath and sit down your grieving." I said trying to do damage control.

"She's here Dimitri, can't you feel her."

"Rose you might as well make a grand appearance since she is going to blow your cover." mason said appearing beside me wit his playful grin, I wondered how it looked to lissa. I saw lissa gasp.

"Mason, I'm going crazy I'm going crazy…" she said screaming and running to the front where the casket sat open. "you did this to me Rose you made me this way I'm crazy because I saved you…your crazy because you save Dimitri and you couldn't handle it…now whose stronger rose…you gave up, you promised us all that you wouldn't give up but you did." she was screaming into my lifeless face as if I could respond. I could but not without her going on another rampage.

Dimitri immediately ran up to restrain her. Any other time I would have loved seeing her try to fight of Dimitri but not now not today. _You know what your doing rose._ I had to keep chanting to myself. _You know what you're doing._

"Really because you don't seem so sure." mason said somberly. "You want to go back don't you?"

"I will go back…eventually but she's right I said I wouldn't give up mase."

"You didn't not yet at least but I can see your resolve shaking you want to be with your friends again. In addition, your body is right there, very beautiful by the way. Think if you had to find a body that matched your soul you could have to regain their trust all over again, they won't know you."

"It's a chance I have to take; I am through being selfish it has gotten me nowhere." I said throwing my guardian mask on.

"Then we'd better leave before her current wants outweigh her needs and you go back."

"I think that's a good idea." I said reluctantly _floating_ back to the house with the ivy front.

"What did we accomplish by that?" he asked sitting on the bed that I had been occupying since I'd gotten here. When had I gotten here, it felt like a day but why were they already burying me?

"How long have we been here?"

"My question was first."

"So?"

"Guess you don't want to know how long you've actually been here."

"Fine I wanted to see if we were still connected your turn."

"Are you? Still connected I mean?"

"My question came next." I said sticking my tongue out at him.

"It's been a day here and about a week there"

"So fifty two days here means what a year there?"

"Just about, no wonder ghosts don't age…" he said with a smile.

I smiled back as I threw a pillow his way. I had accomplished what I needed to today lissa could see me, now I needed her to believe it was me but I still have time. I didn't need to sleep but something about old habits made the bed welcoming and sleep soon followed it.

**So…yeah this was literally a filler chapter, I think it was to soon for anything else after that last chapter but I will try to continue writing…I love holidays, so much writing time…after we eat tons of food that is. Is it a good thing to be confused? It makes the ending so much less predictable. And as for my reasoning for killing rose off she needed some spiritual guidance and why go to a physic when you could just ask your best friend…and I did kill her off but since she is still the main character I think I'll look at it as replacing the cast with a single stand in-cue mason- we will still see everyone from time to time but for a while it's just them…and now they have a deadline. 52 days. Doesn't seem too daring? Well you try to bring you and your best friend back to life and find a murderer while trying to convince your friends that you do care for them and that they aren't crazy all while trying to get over your exboyfriend(s). R&R**


	5. Science Class and Priorities

**Again it's kind of slow and still confusing. Things will start to clear up in the next few chapters…although I can't promise that you will understand it until we find out who killed Tatiana. If you have any thoughts about who did it in this story let me know…again I won't say yes or no but you'll have the satisfaction of being right. Lol please enjoy.**

I had been watching my friends and family interact with each other for three weeks (their time not mine) hoping that something different would happen from day to day. Normally nothing did, but as I watched from day to day I began to notice that Lissa was beginning to move on, and that Abe was growing inpatient. Even Adrian had turned back to his alcohol and cigarettes along with the company of many women. Dimitri however stayed to himself; he no longer regarded Lissa as his savior as she plainly said that she didn't want him to shadow her anymore. I hadn't realized it but Lissa had actually become scared of her life while around Dimitri. Though she was to nice to ever say so but I knew that somehow he had known that too.

"Rose…not to bother you but can I ask what exactly is you master plan. Because last I checked you're not really doing anything but spying which isn't exactly nice." Mason said peering over my shoulder to see what I was looking at.

"Coming from the guy who followed me for about a year after he died." I said not even bothering to turn and look at him.

"ugh…I was watching out for you, you went off hunting a strigoi a rather god-like one at that I am a prime example for what could happen when you do stupid things like that."

"You did it out of jealousy because I didn't want to sleep with you. I am watching them because I have a plan."

"Well I sure hope that Dimitri is a big part of this master plan of yours because I swear you spend so much of your time watching him that I'm beginning to think you're trying to make sure no one sticks their claws into him." Mason said obviously ignoring my jealousy jibe.

"Well, I'm not mason, I do have a plan I just know how I'm going to accomplish all of it while looking after them." I sighed finally turning to look at mason. "I had this all figured out in my head before I did it, everything was perfect but I didn't realize how much I was asking of myself."

"I know Rose but look at it this way; you don't have to do it alone. I'm here…or I would be if you would just tell me what the rest of this genius plan of yours is."

"I thought you knew?" I said cocking an eyebrow.

"I knew everything up until the part where you died." He said producing a catcher's glove and a baseball from thin air.

"Oh, well you made me think you knew everything "I said joking and patting the seat next to me. "Sit down, because I genuinely think that you might think I'm crazy."

"Don't worry you past that when you killed yourself for the greater good"

I made sure not to leave out a single detail when I told mason my ultimate goal. At first he was confused asking annoying questions that all began with 'W'. It was funny that most of the time the only response I had for those questions were I don't know yet. Had I really not thought this through well enough? Was a question that was mixing up inside my head, making me wish that I had had someone to bounce the ideas off of beforehand. I hurt me to think that after all of this I would get nothing accomplished.

"don't look like that Rose, speaking from an outsider's pov it does sound a little elaborate, but speaking as someone whose known you pretty much all your life it sounds just like you and though it may be the long way out of a sticky situation your accomplishing a lot, or at least you want to…question is where do you want to start?"

"What do you mean? I can't leave here because someone has got to watch the court."

He grimaces a little before finally producing a circular looking piece of glass. He handed it to me and smile obviously thinking of something funny, snatched it back turning it into something a little bit more familiar. A compact I'd never carried one but every girl knew what they were.

"Oh ha ha mason, I'm not that shallow." I said snatching the compact out of his hand.

"I didn't say you were, open it genius."

I did as I was told and opened the mirror only to see that it wasn't just a mirror it was a pocket sized window to the living world.

"Now you can multitask, I swear sometimes it's hard to believe you have done so many great things." He laughed.

"No it- wait why?"

"A guardian has to be able to multitask and if I'm correct and I know that I am they have to be able to watch their moroi and their surroundings while blending in and sometimes fighting. And my question to you is how did you manage to do all that and not be able to think of a way to keep an eye on the world and finish the rest of this plan of yours?" he was in hysterics now. It was a wonder that I was even able to understand what he was saying considering that he had said it all in a jumble.

"Shut up and let's go." I said, I loved a good joke more than anybody but I never liked being the butt of a joke when it evolved my job, what I had spent my life (and yes I can say that now) training for.

"Sorry, you know that you brought that one on yourself." He said straightening up and looking at me "so guardian Hathaway, what do we do first?"

"Prioritize, us getting back isn't as important as the moroi staying safe."

"So finding the killer goes top of our list?"

"It should"

"But what if they attack or something, you know before we can get a message to anyone?"

"Well we can just go and warn them mason."

"oh yeah because there is just so much energy in the world that isn't being used by those decaying vampires that we can just manifest and break wards."

"Energy?"

"Yeah energy, the real reason that the strigoi and ghost can pass wards isn't because their evil or dead but because they are using the energy put off but the dead or by the wards."

"Huh? " I asked, "Had I actually wanted a science lesson I would have shown up to that class in school."

"Okay let me make this a sixth grade explanation then. You know how plants give off oxygen?"

"Yeah"

"Good, well we give off carbon monoxide"

"No shit Sherlock. And they take in the carbon monoxide and we take in the oxygen"

"Yeah…"

"I still don't know what that has to do with the wards mason."

"Arghh...the wards are the humans in this case."

"So…I still don't get it."

"You are so dense sometimes; if a human takes in carbon monoxide it could kill them. If a ward takes in expelled energy it could decrease its power or in a ghosts case if the energy is taking from it."

"oh I get it now, in order to manifest you need magic which is either being sucked up by the strigoi to keep them semi alive or by ghost trying to get through…that's how you got through to me, you used the energy…so then it wasn't the magic…"

"The magic damaged it, but they could have repaired itself I broke it take more from it to find and show myself to you."

"So the others could be in danger if we manifest. Before an attack?"

"Now those brain cells are working. So what do we do about keeping them safe while we find the killer?"

"We put up our own wards. A wall of ghost to keep strigoi out while we hunt, when we've found whoever was involved in the murder then we can manifest while we have a double block."

"You're a genius."

"Obviously, goodness woman I swear explaining the whole oxygen thing to you was like teaching a 3 day old baby how to talk."

I couldn't help it I began to laugh at this as well, I had been a bit dense with the explanation but I made a mental note to go back and ask about that, I could tell even in my state of stupidity I picked up on the fact that there was more to that science lesson. Had they been teaching us things like that in school then I would have more than likely paid attention. Maybe I could get mason a job there as a teacher, I know that he would hate it but it would be the closest he would get to having his last few years as a teenager back. Unless of course I put him in the body of a pre-pubescent boy.

"Oh, the next thing should be to teach me how to manifest because frankly I don't know how to do it, and then maybe we can go find lissa's brother."

"Wait hold on…you never said anything about Lissa having a brother. Does she know?"

"No the queen told me…well actually her personal juice box handed me a note after my hearing."

"Ambrose?" he said with distant look on his face.

"Yeah why?"

"Well, I thought that he had been I don't know banned from her bedroom or something like that"

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard that they had a fight, a huge one resulting in his arrest it was a few months before you graduated, when you were in Siberia."

"How did you hear that? Lissa would have told me that or I would have at least heard her talk about it."

"well they kept it a secret, the queen didn't want it to get out that she was keeping company with a bloodwhore even though plenty people suspected it and he never actually denied it."

"Well, I'm sure it was probably nothing any way, trust me couples fight. I have had a huge fight with everyone I have dated, tried to date or made out with. Tatiana was the queen it's no wonder they were fighting she probably had to do something she didn't want regarding dhampir." I said my face getting sour just thinking about the law that passed. "16" I whispered.

"Yeah I know but I didn't…I don't know I don't think something like that would warrant an arrest."

"She's a woman mason, we use what we can to get under a guys skin whether it be sex or authority. I did that with Dimitri. I told him that he owed me hoping that it would get him to love me again."

"Good point, you used me to get Dimitri to love you to, too bad that didn't work, damn it women are so manipulative." He said with a smirk.

"We are and I did but why are you wearing that dopy ass grin?"

"Because in the end guess who you ended up with. I mean when you bring us back rose I don't know what will happen but we will be restarting our lives."

He was right that lucky bastard, I fought so hard to get Dimitri and mason fought even harder to get me even giving up his life for mine…and he's the one that gets to have me in the afterlife. Yeah I guess I wouldn't be to upset with those odds either. But I wasn't going to let him know that he outsmarted me…which he most definitely had.

"Well if your done doing your little imaginary victory dances then can we get back to business?"

"oh, I'm allowed to actually dance?" before I could tell him no he broke out into a series of hops and twirls and hip thrust that all in all were funny but distraction and disturbing, no one dead should be having this much fun.

"Are you done yet?"

"Yeah Rose I'm sorry, but it had to be done, you basically gave me permission."

"I guess I did, now back to our list, and no more distractions."

"That's a tall order to fill, when have we ever been able to stay on track?"

"When our live were…oh I guess I see your point." I had been about to say when our lives were in danger but being dead meant that our lives were no longer in danger. "But Lissa and Eddie's are"

That managed to get his attention, and as I had seen him do back in Spokane he put his most stoic face on and focused on the task at hand. Even his tone of voice went from playful to serious. Eddie and mason had been best friends as long as I and Lissa had. We were the original four. And if anything was going to get through to how important this was it would be the fact that they are entangled in our huge web of misfortune. Eddie was actually the only one that no one was searching for, sure he had been hurt in the crossfire a few times but he was just always the bait. I wouldn't be to upset with him if he decides to distance himself from the others including Lissa, he didn't deserve any of the things that we put him through yet, he stuck around because he understood the meaning of friendship. I knew that and so did mason which is why there was never a question of how much danger they're in any is too much.

**Yeah I know it's another confusing chapter but it will get better. And the science class that I made up was just to give a reason for why ghost can't talk when they finally manage to cross a ward. I sort of like science especially when I can recreate things. Well I hope you enjoyed and thanks for staying interested.**


	6. Sorry all

ATTENTION

PLEASE DO NOT REVIEW THIS "CHAPTER" BECAUSE WHEN I REPLACE IT WITH THE REAL CHAPTER THEN I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO RECIEVE REVIEWS FOR MY HARD WORK. THAT BEING SAID PLEASE READ THE LETTER THAT FOLLOWS. IT IS A LETTER FROM BOTH MY COUSIN AND I SINCE WE BOTH WANT TO SAY PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THINGS.

* * *

Dear Readers,

I have been away for quite sometime. i have been dealing with tragedies within my family, I along with my Cousin Merdian Vanity lost our grandmother. She wasn't at all deathly ill which is why it has thrown us for a loop. we have been trying to gather ourselves so that we can come back to you all but it has been to hard to write a story about everything good or happy endings when you can't find it in yourself to be happy. honestly i had forgotten about it. so we, my cousin and i decided that we at least owed you a reason as to why we left you with half finished stories.

we will be back soon but know that both her and i have lost/ and or gained something in our writing that changes the way we look at what we already have written. we will not be deleting anything but if we haven't got a muse for a story then we will either trade with another writer who feels the same as us about their story or we will change it. Becasue we worked hard on what we did write we don't just want to give it away to someone who probably won't acknowledge that we wrote some of it. that is why if we trade we know that they would understand. There will be rare cases when we will completely abandon a story because we tend to have a storyline already written. which leads me to my other point. we write storylines before we write our store so we have plenty of them. if we have a story that we did but stayed away from guidlines then we will happily trade if you want. we are both still really bad with grammar and we will be getting betas hopefully soon, though i don't like using them.

I know some of you probably don't know my cousin's work but she is more of a Harry Potter writer. she has a Story in progress. if you want to you can check her out. her pen name is Merdian Vanity.

That being said these things are going to change with my story in progress:

1. I am ready to trade both stories that are a work in progress...i have lost my muse and have had it with them both. If you want them please PM me and i'll make you a deal. i don't have my outline for them anymore but it's whatevs.

i think i covered everything, i absolutely abhor authors notes but sometimes it just can't be helped. If you would like to contact me please do so through my PM.

Yours truly,

Diona Christei

P.S. Merdian wrote the whole letter, i hate writing letters so if some parts sound like someone else wrote them it's because my lovely cousin took the time out to write it for me and i just changed a few things like when her name is mentioned she had it so that it mentioned mine as too. at least on her page... show her some love though because she is just getting started.

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IF YOU HAVE READ THIS THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH AND ARE NOT PISSED BEYOND BELIEF AT ME, PLEASECONTINUE TO FOLLOW MY STORY.


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